i feel so lost now, the feeling is juz indescribable.. Its like standing in the middle of nowhere, unable to find a way out.. All alone in tt unfamiliar place, where are u? disappointment is all i keep getting, is it wrong to give u a surprise? Been so quiet for the whole journey, and i dun wan this to carry on, i took the initiative to try to give in to u, knowing ur character well enough. But wad i get in return was hurtful enough to continue trying to make the matter go well.. All i can say is tt my feelings for u have nvr chnged a single bit, but wad abt u.. altho u had relationship to be the least impt in ur life, i tried my best to understand y u made tt decision.. singing and friends are ur life and of cos not leaving out ur family. But do i still mean anything to u?...

Ended my post @ 10/24/2006 02:23:00 PM

im in sch nw, and its so freaking boring... well lets talk on some topic.. hmmm...
changes take place evryday, but does it apply to evrything? When a couple have been together for some time one party might be able to read the other's mind, wad hes feeling or even wad hes thinking. Nth seems to be able to be hidden, its like evrything is written on the face, or perhaps the expression shows it all. One party might deny his feelings, not because he wants to hide things or keep quiet about the matter, its just the way he is feeling inside, feeling different from the rest, just wanting to have evrything to go well and avoid arguements. Recently someone just asked me, " Do u give ur other half freedom?" i replied yes. All i thought at tt moment was, tt qn meant tt if i nvr control, limits the freedom of friends or even being demanding about the lifestyle tt u have been comfortable and enjoy being in, i can say i did give. But when i realli came to think abt it, the important thing was, did i make u feel tt way... altho i said verbally tt i did give. I was scared tt i would go over the limits and become over possessive of u.. and maybe sometimes u wldn't like it. I dunno wad has gotten into me, i keep always predicting how things will turn out, or what will happen.. in short i'm always thinking too much.. and this is realli bad. Its not tt the trust or faith is not there, its perhaps im over concern bout u. Life has many ups and downs.. but all i wan u to noe is tt no matter wad happens, i love u whole heartedly.


-chaoz-

Ended my post @ 10/23/2006 01:55:00 PM

haha, so long nvr update alr.. been kinna going out alot, so cnt realli find the time... i hav alot to say.. so dun wry.. LOL

the most enjoyable and happy time of my life..(4th - 7th oct) Went to genting for a holiday, some might say, chey tot go wher, genting oni wad nth special.. but to me.. it meant alot, esp the person i went with.. it was our first holiday tgt.. it was different from those previous holidays i had, the feeling, the mood and the contentment. All felt differently.. i can say tt i realli enjoyed myself throughout this journey and i know there will be more to come.. (Hong Kong) haha..!! well some elaboration at Genting...

there weren't much things for us to shop, maybe juz not to our likings... we changed a total of $350 to ringgit.. and guess wad all were spent on entertainment and food oni.. haha, and still not enough, i withdrew another 200 ringgit there.. haha.. more to come ltr part..LOL... walk arnd and familiarise ourself on the 1st day.. it was a 6 hr trip up... my friend said it was cooling, but NO! i felt damn cold!! kuku... 2nd day still walkin arnd and went to watch a magic show at nite.. haha way cool! 3rd day... queued for the tix for the outdoor and indoor theme park rides.. in my mind thn, i was feelin pretty scared alr.. die end of my life!! and for the first time in my life.. i took evry single rides in the theme park!! OLE.. i realli juz dun care, juz take.. the worst one of all, tt almost took my soul awy was the space shot! the one tt raise u high up, as high as 20 storeys, thn drop u dwn freely... GOSH!! i so scared of height alr, still raise me so high... whn reach till its peak, i kept swallowing saliva non stop.. gosh can u imagine how scared i was!! nv in my life i took such idiot rides! whn it juz suddenly drop me down w/o even kindly informing me.. i realli screamed the hell outta myself..

thn on to the roller coaster... another disastrous ride.. dunno go so high for wad.. haha, but not as scary as space shot.. the most funny was the mine coaster alr!! LOL.. we sat the front seat while 2 adult couple sat behind us... the guy kept say he not scared in hokkien, but whn go dwn the slope still scream like mad.. somemore it was for the whole ride.. i kept laughtin till my stomach damn pain!! hahaha... whn we were bout to leave the outdoor theme park, suggested tt we take one more time of the space shot, cos someone hinted to me!! LOL.. so of cos i'll accompany u.. queued and went onto the ride. but seriously the 2nd time i felt much worst, veri scared!! haha.. whn the thing started to lavitate, its practically omg liaoz!! went all e way up.. super duper cold! fear + cold = faintt.... hahah.. altho i noe hw the feeling wld be like alr, but yea the feeling is still eeks!.. LOL... left the place cos closing alr... thn went to take the indoor rides.. haha.. since its free anw..

thn aft tt, since its our last nite, we went arnd genting to search for grt food... walk all e way till dunno wher... thn saw this international buffet restaurant.. haha, started queueing up... paid using mastercard, cos not enuff money alr.. haha.. go in sit awhile,, CHIONG AH!! the nxt moment our table was pack with food... LOL!! yummy, and we took all types of deserts! gosh!!
but overall the meal was fantastic!! aft tt went to catch a movie... "rob-b-hood".. haha, we've watched the shw in singapore alr, watch again cos tt cinema offers osim massage chair.. mann way shiok!! ahha... thn aft the shw, went to massage parlour... we do the leg oni.. ermm is abit pain lar.. but still okie.. spent till we totally "dry" haha... realli enjoyed my time... the nxt day was our day to return to singapore alr.. kinna do miss tt place, esp the weather.. singapore's wan is damn shitty!! well the journey back din seem long to me, cos i practically slept all e way, i wake up tt time at johor custom liaoz.. haha.. went hm put our luggage and stuffs, rest awhile, thn we went to meet willie for a movie alr... HAHA!!

many things hav been happening lately, partly due to misunderstandings, explanations cleared, and i've forgiven u, and u noe i will. I love u alot and tts y the hurt was so great. But evrything is fine now, and i noe we'll always overcome bad times together. U ain't gonna leave me. `i love u`

sch reopen
nvr looking forward to
as usual like it has always been
grades in rubbish bin
wad am i gonna do
squashing bowling loving u
is all i do
ain't bringing me nowhere
to an air steward-wanna-be
wad can i do
all i wan is u :)


-chaoz-

Ended my post @ 10/17/2006 11:53:00 PM

try outs... nice riteee... :)

at JB...

more try outs..

haha, been some time since i last blogged..LOL.. had lots of late nights this few days, reach hm slp alr, so juz cldn't find the time to blog.. haha... well on fri my programme was packed.. haha, well slept till quite late i tink... thn went to park mall there make reservations and payments for the Genting trip.. gosh cnt wait any longer for it mann!! haha.. its supposingly a 3D2N stay, but aft much discussion, we extended it for 1 more day...

will be departing on tues morning!! back in s'pore on sat.. mann, its gonna be so FUN! collected all the receipts and stuffs for the confirmation of the trip.. its bout 7pm thn.. me and alex went to JB to supposingly shop and of cos have SEAFOOD DINNER!!! YUMMY!!!!.. lol.. but due to the kuku traffic jams.. we reach city square at 9pm like tt.. manage to buy alex's cap.. thn left the place.. cos majority of the shops oso close alr.. thn we took a cab to daman market or dunno wad lar.. ther got alot thing eat.. ordered...
2 chilli crabs
veg
sting ray
sotong!!

YUM YUM!! 2 person eat so many things.. haha.. but was all swept clean.. haha... aft tt made our way back to s'pore, had some disppointments, but i was persistent to tink in e way of a forgive and forget mindset.. i didn't wan much sorrows to add on... and viewing a horoscope book once before, it says, a gemini and a scorpio relationship would be the toughest and most challenging one.. and tis sentence has always been in my mind to keep me going.. to assure on my side tt nth would happen.. and thus so far so gd.. :)

there are many temptations arnd us, but the fact tt u are my oni temptation, nth else can stray me awy... there may be people arnd trying to separate us, but i believe the bond between us can fight it all.. okiee, hmmm reach s'pore alr took 170 to newton ther and we walked to town.. walked to cine ther catch a movie...
" Rob-b-Hood"... OMG!! u guys must realli watch tt show.. the baby its like so freakingly adorably CUTE!! hahaha.. watched till bout 5.30am like tt, thn we chatted awy while waiting for the first bus.. haha. mann wad a day!!!

next day.........
sat late noon.. met alex went to acc him to his interview at NUH... some frontline services job.. thn aft tt went plaza sing... buy his ring, thn had dinner ther too... met willie aft tt.. he booked out frm camp today.. bought his stuffs at cine!! while me and alex trying their sunglasses and taking pics.. HAHA.. went hm aft tt.. changed.. and thn go out again.. me and alex met willie at chinatown there lor, went for some party thingy.. yepz... till morning 7am.. so tired.. aft eating mac for breakfast, thn go hm le.. ZZZZZZ.... -_-


-chaoz-

Ended my post @ 10/01/2006 05:50:00 PM