what have become of me? why do i feel like im being more and more undecisive, is this a gd or bad sign? always need, or rather depending too much on people around me. Why am i so concerned about what others think. Are they really so important? Or is it that i have already made my choice, but i just need someone to support. Worried of keep making the wrong choice? I guess so. I don't like this feeling, the feeling of being lost. My fighting spirit, i just feel that it has weakened, Why is this so? Even me, am clueless about it too.

Am i beginning to lose everything i have, or why am i feeling this way, being so scared. i guess my journey of life has reached the bumpy roads. Which is a test for me to go through, and hopefully reach the even roads again. I really do not wanna lose what i have, the part of my life that made me feel so fortunate, so fortunate to live this life, just to meet you. You've owned half of my heart, living witout it, would just pronounce me dead.

My friends say i'm just thinking too much, but is this really so. Relationship wise, i guess i can maintain and handle it well. But why, why do i always have to reach a cross road, to have a decision made. I use to be decisive of what i wanna do, but wher is it now? what is actually missing to equate the correct formula. I still can't figure it out.

Am i feeling sad? Is my rope tied too tightly. Or is it the plain simple reason that i'm thinking too much again. I just can't bring myself to think positively. You have your own life too, i can't possibly demand too much, maybe i'm still not mature enough. A short temporary separation doesn't mean parting. But i just can't think this way, maybe i'll need to slowly get into this mindset to have everything right. Maybe this way both parties would benefit.

Well today had my doubles and mix doubles matches, shan't talk about singles. Hmm, was doing pretty well till i injured my knee AGAIN! exactly the same bloody spot i injure when playing squash. But today worst the whole skin came off, haa, okie shan't go further. Well seriously speaking it was damn pain, although i say its okie, don't wanna demoralise my doubles partner. Imagine playing with the perspiration dripping into the wound, mann! What a night.

-chaoz-

Ended my post @ 5/19/2006 09:39:00 PM